Week two. (not for those with weak stomachs)

Well, I was plugging right along and then...a little set back.

On Friday night, I was getting ready to go out and noticed that the scab above my port was beginning to lift. Being the "picker" (thanks, Dad) I am, I pulled on it a little bit. All of the sudden, this gooey purpley stuff started flowing out from under the scab.

After a few minutes the purpley stuff stopped and a little bit of blood came out. I was kind of freaking out because the scab is right above the port. What if the port became exposed? Oh lordy, I am puking on the inside just thinking about it. Anyway! I cleaned it up and applied some neosporin and a band aid. Throughout the night I went to the bathroom to check up on it. It was now oozing a yellowish substance. Since there was no blood involved, I figured it would be ok for now.

On Saturday and Sunday I continued the neosporin and band aid treatment. Yesterday it seemed to be oozing more, so I decided to go over to the surgery center this morning on my way into work. After an hour of waiting, the PA finally was able to see me. He said it was completely normal and re-dressed it. He warned me that puss may come out of it. Goody! More unnecessary fluids coming out of my body!

The good news, I am down another 5lbs! Horray!

Things I am looking forward to.

Since today is sort of a slow day for me, I am putting together a list of things that I am looking forward to. Some may sound silly but the little things add up!

1. Not having to ask for a seat belt extender on planes.Ok, so this has only happened a few times but it is SO embarrassing to ask for an extender. Did you even know you could ask for one? Yeah, you have to be pretty fat to know about this little secret.

2. Not seeing rolls of fat when I look in the mirror.
Rolls are not fun. Rolls suck. If I only had one it wouldn't be too bad but I have many. And I hate them.

3. My fingers shrinking.
I have so many rings that I can't wear anymore because my fingers look like Vienna Sausages. I can't wait to wear them again!

4. Shopping for cute clothes.
We can all agree that I have AMAZING style (ok, borderline amazing). While Lane Bryant has come a long way, I would really like to buy clothes from Anthropologie again. Gosh, I really miss that store.

5. Going to concerts and not feeling as though I am crowding the person next to me.
I LOVE going to shows but recently I have felt as though I am totally invading the seat next to me. Maybe seating areas have become smaller, but I still hate it. Especially at the Sprint Center. It's friggin crammed there!

6. Spa robes.
Currently, when I go for a massage, my butt is too big for the spa robes. Last Christmas, my friend Shannon and I went for a couple's massage. I had to unrobe in the room because I didn't fit into the robe.

7. Being comfortable in a restaurant booth.
This one is really annoying. Some booths are closer together than others. Minsky's being one of them. I HATE going there because my flab overlaps the table. Talk about uncomfortable.

8. Not wearing SPANX every time I wear a dress.
Seriously, I love SPANX but I wear them WAY TOO MUCH. I'd love to wear a dress without them.

9. Elevators.
So, I know this happens to everyone but sometimes when I get into an elevator, it bounces. I'd like this to happen less frequently!

10. FEELING GOOD ABOUT MYSELF.
Even though I have only lost 9lbs, I am already feeling better about myself. My clothes are fitting better and I feel as though my attitude has improved, greatly. This is a journey that I am so excited about and I hope my excitement keeps up at this pace. Because seriously, I want to be a happier, healthier ME!

To weigh or not to weigh, that is the question.

Every morning I wake up and look at the scale. It's really hard to not weigh myself on a daily basis when the first thing I see is the scale.

Since I'm eating less, I assume that I am losing weight. The battery on the scale is actually low right now, which is another plus. It shuts off before the weight pops up. Kind of good, kind of annoying. I guess I could go buy a new 9 volt battery, right?

On previous diets, I have been told to not weigh every day because weight fluctuates daily based on sodium intake, etc. However, my clothes are more loose, so that should be a good gage, too.

I'd really like to be down 20lbs when I go to California in January but I also don't want to set unrealistic goals. I'm taking everything in stride and trying to remain optistic. Heck, I know I have a lot of weight to lose - I am just eager to get this party started.

Back to the bump and grind.

Today was my first day back at work. I was dreading it at first because I was unsure of how long I would be able to sit. Surprisingly, it's gone really well. My morning was swamped due to playing catch up. By the time I looked at the clock it was time for me to stop drinking (when you have the lap band, you can't drink 30 minutes before or 30 minutes after a meal; you also cannot drink during meals.). I had a delicious lunch of pureed chicken tortilla soup and black cherry jello. Please, don't be jealous!

This week should be pretty busy. I am trying to keep my self busy with after work projects and errands so that I am not tempted to eat :) At this point, I am still on the "walking only" exercise program and am hoping to con my neighbor into walking with me after work until the weather gets too cold. It's definitely chilly today but I think I could handle it!

One thing that has been super annoying is that the dogs have decided that they need to lay on me whenever I am sitting down. Ever since my surgery, I've had some tingling in my leg (probably from changing the position I sleep in) and they're constantly laying on me! I try to push them off but they think I've just shifted and they can go right back to where they were before. It's SOOOO annoying. Oliver's pretty good about moving on once I push him off but Susie's like me. She won't take no for an answer. She also doesn't know her strength. Homegirl is strong!!!

In completely unrelated news, tomorrow is a really big day for me. It's the release date for David Cook's debut album. I am so excited for this, I could pee my pants. My friend Jessica tried to give me the bootlegged version of it last night (which under normal circumstances I totally would have taken) but I insisted on waiting for tomorrow. So, I will be up at 5am to download the album from iTunes and sync it to my ipod -

I NEVER want to look like this again!

Pre surgery pictures!

Weekends are for fun, not pain.

As previously mentioned, Saturday and Sunday sucked. I don't remember as much from Saturday. I was still in a drugged daze and over emotional from my lack of sleep.

On Sunday we woke up and took a walk. We've started walking around our cul-de-sac a few times a day to get some exercise in. In 5 weeks I can begin going to the gym but until then, it's walking only. We have a Sunday ritual of reading the paper together but I couldn't be bothered to sit in the kitchen chairs. I tried to lay on the couch but could not get comfortable so I moved to John's chair. Once I created a comfortable sitting position, I was good for the rest of the day.

I didn't sleep again on Sunday night and decided that I would call the Pharmacist on Monday to see if I could take xanax with the hydrocodone that was prescribed for pain. I knew my question was going to sound as if it was straight out of a druggie's mouth so I told her who I was. She quickly told me that it would be absolutely fine, there was nothing to worry about. YAY! I crossed my fingers for a good night's rest, and a good night's rest I had. Monday was also my first day on the liquid diet. John second guessed everything before I put it in my mouth. It was actually pretty humorous. He finally realized that I knew what I was doing and hasn't really questioned me again...since yesterday ;)

Tuesday morning I awoke a little refreshed...I believe I clocked about 6 hours which was amazing in my eyes. I let John sleep until 8:30, when I insisted we take our morning walk. Since I was feeling better, I rotated between the couch and the chair all day. We took a few more walks and when it started raining, I walked laps around the house. Not much space but, it was better than not walking at all, right? On Tuesday I also discovered the amazing V8 soups. My first box was the broccoli and today I finished off the butternut squash. It's pretty darn tasty!

By Wednesday I was feeling SO MUCH BETTER. John went back to work for half of the day and when he returned, we went to Best Buy and to a vitamin store to ensure I had everything I need to be successful vitamin-wise. This place was amazing. They have a special section for Bariatric patients which was really great! I purchased a multi-vitamin, calcium and B Complex. They're not the best tasting things I've had but they do the job. I also purchased some protein supplements. All I can say about those is...GROSS. The guy at the vitamin place let me try several different flavors and I didn't like any of them. I finally settled on a variety pack of 16 flavors. I figure one of those should be ok, right? I've had three so far and yeah, I don't like any of them :)

Yesterday was my big one week check up. It went really well. The PA took off the remaining bandages and "graduated" me to pureed food. Horray! My best friend, Alison told me she would send me all of the baby food recipes she uses on her 11 month old. At least I can start eating veggies. It's been weird not eating any fruits or veggies for the past week or so. I never thought I would miss them - but I do! Tomorrow, I plan on making a menu for the week. Since I go back to work on Monday, I need to plan my lunches. In the past I have been really bad about bringing my lunch but I need to concentrate on changing that since there's not much I can eat from the restaurants around my office.

In my day three email, I mentioned that there were some things that I knew not everyone would want to read. If you are squeamish, STOP READING NOW.

GAS. That has been the absolute worst part of the healing process. Until Sunday morning, I felt so incredibly bloated. I tummy was so swollen and even though I felt like I could fart, nothing was coming out. On Sunday morning, John woke up and said, "Did I hear you fart?". "Yes!". "Congratulations! Hmm, I never thought I would be happy for a girl to fart." It was pretty funny. Another gas issue is that I cannot burp for the life of me. It's horrible. I feel the urge to burp and then it subsides, leaving me with terrible gas pains. I was telling Ruthanne about this and she must have told my sister in law, Kirsten because the next day I got this email from her:

By the way, Ruthanne already filled me in on all the gas pains of Friday night, so no secret there... : ) I suggested my foolproof method of getting rid of it (which she had never heard of!!!) It's a little primitive, but my best friend's mom swore by it, and it always works...

Get on your hands and knees and lower your front end so your butt is in the air. Gas rises, so pretty quickly it escapes... That might be too hard on your belly right now, but you can use it in the future : ) I'm sure it'll be a hit on your blog, at least: Kirsten's foolproof gas eliminator!! And it'll give John a hearty giggle too...

I'll definitely try the gas eliminator once I am able to stretch again. John and I were laughing pretty hard (which by the way, it totally hurt to laugh until today).

I intend to lay low this weekend. My youth group girls have a meeting on Sunday and I am going to try and go for a bit. Then Monday, it's back to work. I tried to get my doctor to release me for half days only, but that totally didn't work.

One week down...

8.6 down...

Yay! I just returned from the doctor and I am down 8.6lbs! I am so motivated by this loss. Even though I know from here on out it's going to be slower, the loss of water weight is truly a great way to get started!

Free Fallin.

I woke up early on Friday morning. Ready to get to the surgery center and ready to change my life. I wasn't too nervous until we got into the car and I realized that this was it. The planning of the past few months would be behind me and soon I would be healthy.

The admittance process before surgery took about 15 minutes. More paperwork, more signatures, more "you might die" phrases. I took deep breaths and kept reminding myself that this IS what I want. I am going to die young if I don't do something about my obesity and I'd rather die healthy than die miserable. Once my paperwork was complete, it took about 10 more minutes for the nurse (Joy) to come get me.

She took me back to the pre-op room where I peed (not pregnant!), answered questions, tried to make jokes and met with the Anesthesiologist. I told him that I was very nervous and he said he'd take care of that! Horray! A few minutes later, John and Ruthanne came in to see me. John tried to keep it light but I was so emotional that all I could do was tear up. What if I never saw him again? Was this all really worth it? (I'm totally tearing up just remembering our exchanges.) Dr. Selim then came to check on me and told me how honored he was that I chose him as a surgeon. We had a few funny comments and he left to prepare. I gave John my ring and Joy took rolled me off into the operating room.

The room was small, probably the size of our bedroom. There were huge lights all over and so many people. Three whom I had met, the rest were just people. Staring at me. The Anesthesiologist then came over to me and said he was going to start giving me some fun meds and this was it! I couldn't help but notice that "Free Fallin" by Tom Petty was playing in the background. Really? Are you guys serious? Can I choose the song list? I think I'd prefer something more along the lines of I don't know, something happier and less angelic? But, three breaths of the juice and I was out.

I woke up at 9am to Joy looking over me. The surgery had gone really well and John and Ruthanne were eager to see me. The next few hours are somewhat of a blur. I had to pee and the rule is, once you get up, you can't lay back down. So, I waited a few minutes before I nearly peed my pants and went to the bathroom. OMG. I never realized how much I use my stomach muscles. The post op nurse, Jake told me to trust him, he would lift me. Ok, I'd like to see him lift all 300lbs of me. Go ahead Jakey, make my day. I gave him my right hand and before I knew it, I was up.

The bathroom experience was quite different. I had to brace myself before sitting down, slowly ease myself down and pee. Such a process! I swear it took like 5 minutes alone to sit down. Getting up was another process, washing my hands without touching my stomach to the sink and opening the door. Wow, wow. PAIN. Jake and I then took a walk down to the edge of the post op area and back to the room. He reminded me again of the no sleeping rule which totally sucked. After three hours of fun evaluations, resting and a few short walks, I was discharged.

The car ride home wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Getting out of the car? That's another thing. I really wasn't prepared for all of the pain. I felt like I needed to burp but couldn't. John and I made our way upstairs where we set the bed up for rest. Oliver got on one side of me and Susie laid in my lap, avoiding the sore area. I couldn't sleep. I kept closing my eyes hoping, but nothing. John made me take my medication every four hours and made sure I was drinking clear liquids. Apparently, I drank too much because when my gas pains got worse, John called Dr. Selim and asked if I could take tums or rolaids. "What for?" he asked. "She's in pain!". "No, what has she had to drink?" "About 20 ounces of water." "No, no, she should only drink 1 ounce of water an hour." WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL US THAT?

I then cried and pouted about my pain for 30 minutes, making my neighbor come over with a body pillow, and trying to have John burp me like a baby. I finally called my coworker Celene, who had the procedure done last year and whined about my gas pains. She said, "Girl, you need gas x. I told you that. Why don't you listen to me!" John went to Walgreens to make the purchase and as soon as I took it, I felt immediate relief.

I probably slept a total of 2 hours Friday night. Saturday was terrible. I was in pain and sleep deprived. I created a new way to get out of bed, the turn and slide. It's pretty handy. Once I was able to get myself out of bed, I felt a little less like a gimp and more in control.

More later...

On the mend.

I'm not going to lie, the last 72 hours have sucked. In a few days I will definitely relive Friday for all of you because I know you'd really like a play by play.

I am actually starting to feel better, which I was beginning to think would never happen after my very uncomfortable weekend.

More later!